10 Things that Surprised Me About Caring for Newborns in Saudi

Cultures always have their own beliefs and practices that seem odd to an outsider. Some practices are so deeply ingrained through generations that it’s extremely difficult to change, even if science disagrees. I’ve learned a ton from Saudis about different ways to care for newborns – some of which baffle me and other points that I at least understand, even if I don’t adopt them. And as usual, these don’t apply to every family, but they seem to be pretty widespread among the people I’ve interacted with. Here are 10 things that have most surprised me about cultural practices surrounding newborns in Saudi.

1. Shave baby’s head so the hair will grow back thicker

Soon after babies are born, or within a few months, a razor is taken to their little moldable baby heads, as the parents believe shaving their hair will help it grow back thicker and better. Though this has been debunked scientifically, an aunt or grandmother swears it works, so the practice continues among many families of even educated, well-to-do Saudis. The cultural belief persists that shaving has a positive effect on the hair roots and gets rid of “weak” hair in order to allow the stronger, firmer hair to push through.

In some areas, according to tradition, the baby’s head is shaved on the 7^th day after birth, the hair is weighed, and that same weight in silver or gold is offered as charity (they would be lucky to get 1 gram for my kids’ wispy hair!). In Islam this isn’t a required practice but seems to be highly encouraged and is a way of committing the baby to Allah.

Shaving doesn’t harm the babies, as long as they aren’t nicked, but I wouldn’t want to be the one to do it – plus I love those first months of soft fluffiness!

2. Keep babies bundled up, no matter the temperature

Before a local friend visits, I’ve learned to scramble to get socks on my kids so I can head off any comments about them being too cold. It doesn’t matter if it’s 80 degrees in my house, I’m told the tile is too chilly for my toddler’s feet and he’s going to get sick. If he has a runny nose, it’s because the AC in his room must be set too low. If he coughs once, it’s because his pajamas aren’t heavy enough. Can you tell it gets old after awhile? 🙂

Newborns are bundled in multiple layers here and they’re kept toasty all the time. I hate being cold so I get it. Over the last 6 years I’ve been on a long-range mission to raise the thermostat in our house and ever so slowly I’m acclimating Sean to my standards, one degree at a time (and he doesn’t even realize it muahaha).

Although I want my babies to be nice and cozy, I’m also aware of the AAP guidelines regarding the link between overheating and SIDS… so before I turn the temp up in the nursery I’ll touch the back of my baby’s neck to determine if he really does need a warmer environment or not.

Along the same line, if kids get wet, they must dry off immediately – even outside in hot weather. After Ezra got out of the kiddy pool, he was running around and my friend grabbed a towel to dry him off so he wouldn’t “catch a cold.” It was 95 degrees out. The water basically evaporated off him as he stood there, but sure, if you want to dry him that’s fine with me.

3. Crying is not okay

If babies are crying, something must be wrong and it should be addressed immediately. Before having kids, I might’ve thought similarly too, but now I’m on the sometimes-babies-cry-just-to-cry train. If I’ve ensured he’s not sick and I’ve run through the checklist of diaper/food/sleep, then it doesn’t bother me to let him cry and whine for a bit (if we’re at home).

We have house cleaners come periodically and there have been multiple times when they’ve opened the nursery door and picked up my boys because they fussed the tiniest bit in the middle of their nap. I can’t fault them for trying to be helpful, but that was my only hour of the day to get all 18 things done on my list and now the baby is not going back to sleep. A little crying is fiiiine.

4. Whisper prayers and give them dates at birth

Right after a baby is born, the father will whisper the call to prayer in its ear, as they believe those are the very first words the baby should hear. Then a softened date or a finger dipped in sugar water is rubbed on the roof of the baby’s mouth as a traditional ritual. There are claims it promotes sucking and will help a baby take to breastfeeding easier. But for those of us who idealistically hope to prevent our kid from having any sugar until he goes to kindergarten, the practice is a bit shocking.

5. Baby wraps aren’t common, but fancy strollers are

Baby wraps are all the rage these days in America, but I haven’t seen anyone use them in public here, other than expats. Top-of-the-line strollers seem to be preferred. And in the home, many Saudis have nannies so I guess there isn’t a need to strap the baby to you to get stuff done if you can just hand them off to the nanny when they get fussy.

6. Car seats are optional

Coming from America where I’ll be ostracized from my community if my baby wears a coat in his car seat or if the buckle isn’t exactly chest-height, I’m consistently shocked to pass cars here with toddlers hanging halfway out of the windows, or babies in the front seat on the driver’s lap. Culturally, car seats are definitely optional here, even as the country has enacted laws to require them.

When we were leaving the hospital after Ezra’s birth, Sean was packing up the car and ensuring the car seat was in appropriately while I was trying to manage my pain while climbing into the front passenger seat. A nurse was holding Ezra and as soon as I got settled in the front seat, she handed him to me as though we would drive home on Jeddah roads with a newborn baby in my arms in the front seat! I’m not THAT confident in Sean’s defensive driving abilities.

7. Pierce girls’ ears right away

I know this happens often in America too, that little girls have their ears pierced at a few months old, but Saudi was the first place where I saw an ear piercing studio and jewelry shop IN the hospital. Baby gets some bling before she even breathes non-hospital air. The piercing is commonly done in order to distinguish girls from boys, and because jewelry is a common gift for new baby girls.

8. Babies need water

Multiple times I’ve been told that my babies should drink water, especially if we’re out for a walk and it’s hot. I greeted a neighbor while I was out pushing the boys in a stroller and he sent his guard to get a bottle of water for Abel when he was 2 months old. It was kind but I assured him that he was fine. Water seems harmless, but I’ve been taught that it can cause health issues in babies under 6 months and breast milk or formula is all they need, so that’s what I’m sticking to.

9. Bind babies in order to help their limbs grow straight

Every time we go to the pediatrician he takes care to show us that our babies’ legs are in fact growing straight and it’s just the bulging muscle that makes the legs look bowlegged. I never suspected their legs to have problems but apparently it’s a common concern here and he is trying to set the record straight. Some parents bind their babies (kind of like swaddling, but tight all the way down the legs) in order to keep their limbs next to their body so they will “grow straight,” and they keep them in that position for hours at a time. I’m all for swaddling, but I follow the practice of snug up top and looser around the hips so the baby can freely bend his legs.

10. It’s perfectly fine for strangers to kiss babies and pick them up

Saudi in general is very baby and kid-friendly. Adults stop to “ooh” and “aah” over Abel in his stroller, Ezra gets toys and candy from random people nearly every time we leave the house, and it’s acceptable for strangers to pat my kid’s head as they walk past. Pre-Covid, restaurant servers would pick Ezra up out of his highchair and carry him around and store attendants would play hide and seek with him while I shopped. Honestly I’m afraid my kids are going to grow up with a complex, thinking they deserve gifts and praise everywhere they go. But at the same time, it’s comforting to know people in general have a positive attitude toward kids being around. We don’t deal with annoyed glares from people at restaurants or have to run out of stores in shame if our toddler starts crying. Of course we don’t let him run wild, but people here are very understanding of typical toddler behavior and it’s clear they truly do consider kids to be a blessing.

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Since guidelines regarding baby care change so frequently, maybe some of the 10 things above were common practice in America at some point too. What do you think? Are these as surprising to you as they were to me?