There are two big celebrations surrounding a marriage here – the engagement party “milkah,” and the actual wedding. I’ve only attended milkahs, so this post is related to those.
::
The gender-segregated parties typically begin around 11pm and go until 5am. They take place in large homes or wedding halls (milkahs are smaller but wedding guest counts can easily reach toward 1000). I was shocked by how decked out the women get – fancy hairstyles, thick makeup, spindly stilettos and curve-hugging ball gowns. Think prom-glam on steroids. For all ages.
::
The music is louder than most concerts and it’s impossible to hold any type of conversation. All the women sit on couches that line the perimeter of the room and small groups take turns dancing in the center while everyone else looks on (remember, no convo is happening). It’s mostly Arab music but at one milkah, Single Ladies came on and every one pointed at me and made me dance as the token English speaker/American.
::
My friends have told me that milkahs and weddings are prime scouting opportunities for mothers with single sons. If there are young women in attendance whose poise and beauty catch their eye, the matchmaking begins.
::
Dinner is served around 2am. Sean attended one w/ a traditional setup as seen in the photo – aromatic rice piled high on plastic cloths with a freshly cooked lamb nestled on top. The party splits into small circles on the floor as everyone digs in with their hands, always washing down the food with Pepsi or 7Up. The women eat similarly, or they opt for a big buffet with tables/chairs.
::
Throughout all this fanfare, the bride-to-be is nowhere to be seen. She is hidden away until late in the event when she makes an appearance on the arm of her husband-to-be. When their arrival is announced, all the women in the room whip their abaya over their shoulders and drape their hijab over their heads before the man enters. The couple then performs a dance and sits very properly and awkwardly on an elegant couch while everyone pays their respects. Legal papers are signed and after this ceremony the couple is technically officially married. But most will not move in together until the actual wedding takes place months later.
::
There are many formalities and cultural nuances of the events that I’m not aware of, and each tribe or family has different traditions. I’ve been honored to attend special occasions like this and get an inside glimpse into Saudi culture.
Our Journey through the Land of Midian in Saudi
When I was a child, learning about Moses in Sunday school and watching VeggieTales and The Prince of Egypt, I thought of places like the
